Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Prophecies of the Doom Fairy, pt. IV

Astrology for Whores and Hustlers

(9:30am, March 15th, 2011)

Uranus is so on my ascendant right now.  It is on that shit like a priest on a 12 year old mute. 

Uranus transited into Aries on the 11th, the day of the earthquake in Japan.  Bringing it into a whole-sign opposition with Saturn in Libra and a square with Pluto in Capricorn, remember the shit-storm that broke out mid-summer last year?  While easily as intense as the grand cross of that period, this t-square also has a certain permanence that the last did not, this one wants to make lasting changes.

Every month (and right now), as the moon transits her rulership in Cancer she will trigger that grand cross.  This energy will most likely manifest in events with a momentum greater than your own.  It’s not just an earth-shattering earthquake; it’s also a nuclear meltdown three days later.  Any unfinished business you have from the previous months will demand attention at these moments (court dates, etc.), the longer it takes to resolve these issues the worse they will become.

Saturn is retrograding, which is good because it allows us to take the time to work out the kinks in implementing our plans or (more likely), provides us with the time we need to carry them out.  Saturn retrograding is also bad because as it retreats into the earlier degrees of Libra it moves into ever tightening aspect with the aforementioned t-square of shit-disturbing, creating the distinct possibility that it will be in fact, your shit which is disturbed.

So much of the aspect I am talking about is generational with such sweeping overtones, that it’s hard not see it on that scale (if you have an account with Bank of America, I’d maybe switch banks).  The world will not calm down until Saturn has stationed and starts putting some distance between herself and that t-square, the station itself will most likely coincide with events as traumatic as those of the last few days since during that period in June the Sun will anchor the grand cross along with the Moon in Cancer.  That’s not until June though, an expanse of time which no doubt vastly exceeds your attention span.  Try to remember to clench those cheeks tightly.

For those of you wondering when things are going to calm down again, the answer is never.  NEVER.  My ascendant has been in the shower scrubbing itself for six hours while weeping and asking to wear ‘her good-girl leash’.  If you haven’t realized it already, there is no going back now.


  1. Nice illustration of what the loose T-square will do to the monthly Cancer moon.

    I'm not looking forward to July, when the Sun, Mercury and Venus all roll through Cancer, triggering shit storms. But the most unpleasant version of this line up will be during the first 2 weeks of August, when Mars rolls through Cancer, during a Mercury retrograde.

    If I start now, I'm pretty sure my mobile bomb shelter will be complete by then.

  2. God I know .. I am looking at that stretch through the summer and wondering whether a lead jacket or a new shotgun is the answer.