Prophecies of the Doom Fairy, pt. XI

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Prophecies of the Doom Fairy, pt. IV

Astrology for Whores and Hustlers

(9:30am, March 15^th, 2011)

Uranus is so on my ascendant right now.  It is on that shit like a priest on a 12 year old mute. 

Uranus transited into Aries on the 11^th, the day of the earthquake in Japan.  Bringing it into a whole-sign opposition with Saturn in Libra and a square with Pluto in Capricorn, remember the shit-storm that broke out mid-summer last year?  While easily as intense as the grand cross of that period, this t-square also has a certain permanence that the last did not, this one wants to make lasting changes.

Every month (and right now), as the moon transits her rulership in Cancer she will trigger that grand cross.  This energy will most likely manifest in events with a momentum greater than your own.  It’s not just an earth-shattering earthquake; it’s also a nuclear meltdown three days later.  Any unfinished business you have from the previous months will demand attention at these moments (court dates, etc.), the longer it takes to resolve these issues the worse they will become.

Saturn is retrograding, which is good because it allows us to take the time to work out the kinks in implementing our plans or (more likely), provides us with the time we need to carry them out.  Saturn retrograding is also bad because as it retreats into the earlier degrees of Libra it moves into ever tightening aspect with the aforementioned t-square of shit-disturbing, creating the distinct possibility that it will be in fact, your shit which is disturbed.

So much of the aspect I am talking about is generational with such sweeping overtones, that it’s hard not see it on that scale (if you have an account with Bank of America, I’d maybe switch banks).  The world will not calm down until Saturn has stationed and starts putting some distance between herself and that t-square, the station itself will most likely coincide with events as traumatic as those of the last few days since during that period in June the Sun will anchor the grand cross along with the Moon in Cancer.  That’s not until June though, an expanse of time which no doubt vastly exceeds your attention span.  Try to remember to clench those cheeks tightly.

For those of you wondering when things are going to calm down again, the answer is never.  NEVER.  My ascendant has been in the shower scrubbing itself for six hours while weeping and asking to wear ‘her good-girl leash’.  If you haven’t realized it already, there is no going back now.

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Prophecies of the Doom Fairy, pt. II

Astrology for Whores and Hustlers

(Written, 12:30 am, February 24^th, 2011. )  

For the last two days hustlers and whores everywhere have rejoiced.  Finally that epic 4 planet stellium in Aquarius has moved on to Pisces, and rulership has passed from Saturn (who just turned retrograde and mean) to Jupiter.  Finally we can go back to be rewarded for our charm and craftiness instead of how hard we work.  That shit was getting tedious.  I am reaching back about a month here.

Saturn and Jupiter are opposing each other and that is creating some high weirdness.  Our relationships are being tested at every turn, (is this guy in the dashing khaki’s a narc? do I really have to tell you again to stop jizzing in my ear?).  Keep in mind that you are being simultaneously just as annoying as everyone else is, (what does this shithead have against khakis? whats the big deal if I jizz in your ear?).  The imposition of rules was what that was all about, a sort of generalized ‘this is how it’s going to be’. 

Some of you are probably up on charges already or crashing and burning.  You got a month or so for recuperation.

If you didn’t get popped and you didn’t freak out then you’re in pretty good standing.  Even if that meant being regrettably confrontational over things that were previously non-issues, Saturn the planet that loves rules was on your side ($500 extra to jizz in my ear, never ever wear khakis in my sight ever again). 

Who knows, maybe that khaki-wearing, ear-jizzing freak was a narc or something and those that didn’t bounce his ass are most likely the same as those that got popped.  That brings us up to now roughly.

I am relieved to say, that part is over.  Those of you left standing after the bombs finished falling are in for a prosperous time one way or the other because half of your rivals went down in the crossfire, so there is some business to be had and vacuums to be filled.  The caveat to this new found plenty is that half your allies also got taken out in the crossfire so you’re likely a bit more vulnerable then you were in January. 

For now however, the battle has ceased and some dangerously ambiguous espionage is going to happen. This many planets in Pisces means some accentuated 12^th house action … you might want to find out who invited the khaki-wearing ear-jizzer.  Careful observation over the next couple of weeks will reveal where your new alliances should lay and who you should avoid (this might surprise you).

If you got popped or freaked out, stop freaking out now.  If you can sort the wreckage in the next couple of weeks then you’re golden, no permanent damage done.  Most likely anyone popped over the last month won’t see a court date until April at the soonest so lay low this month and obscure your trail, they’ll have a mess of new problems to deal with by the end of March and you’ll be long forgotten by then.   

For the next month, make your very presence in the room a gift.  Do not ask to be accepted for your horribly flawed secret self (which everything being in Pisces is going to make you want to do,) instead radiate only your best and most seductively charming persona.  Defer to the emotional and egoic needs of others and Jupiter will see you properly rewarded with something other than the long-suffering of your friends, like an extra 500 bones for ear jizz at the very least. 

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Prophecies of the Doom Fairy, pt. I

Astrology for Whores and Hustlers

Already the shockwaves are travelling.  A lot of astrologers are looking at the Saturn-Jupiter opposition and talking like they know something special.  That election is however, a pale foreshadowing of things to come.  The Egyptian revolution began on the Saturn retrograde station, a very loose opposition to Jupiter at the time but as the opposition got tighter the momentum of that revolution gained weight.  Soon that retrograde Saturn will enflame the rest of humanity, as the Sun and Uranus and Mercury and Mars and Venus lend their weight to that exchange.  Jupiter will square Pluto and the powers that be will retreat into what they know and we will see this in action in America more than anywhere else in the world.

Normally, I avoid talking about the States because the world is full of interesting people and ideas and places and Americans have forgotten that.  This time I can’t avoid it and to be honest, don’t really want to.  America is Pluto.  Not always and definitely not forever but right now they are the powers that be.  If the retrograde Saturn could kick off something like the Egyptian Revolution imagine how the full opposition is going to affect the state of things in the world’s leading super-power.  On the international scale America is Mubarak, the oligarch clinging to control in the face of overwhelming social pressure and they will have to answer to that opposition in the same way that Mubarak had to finally answer his people.

The Jupiter-Pluto square is not a thing to be underestimated.  It is a guarantee that America’s forward progress will shudder, choke and then fail.  The heart of the people is not behind progress in America, it is ignorant and innocent like a five year old.  The people who will stand up for what they believe in America right at this moment have coalesced into the Tea Party movement and what they want is a return to the old ways and the old securities (Jupiter-Square-Pluto) and they are going to fight for it.  That America cannot hope to sustain itself by the old rules is obvious to the rest of the world because the rest of the world already knows that America has functioned as a colonial super-power for the last 50 years or more but Americans don’t realize that.  To the average American their entire patriotic identity is caught up in the idea of America as an enemy of oppression and tyranny.  The average American doesn’t understand that their security was bought at the cost of the freedoms of millions around the world.

You America are the tyrant the times are making everyone want to overthrow.  While hope will fill the hearts of millions around the world this year, it will do so after it has fled America.

It is the Tea Party that will capture these astrological elections and run with them.  Their ranks will swell over the coming months, Republicans and Independents will ally themselves to the populist movement and it will take on a life of its own.  For decades now America has held itself up as a shining example of Christian morality and the propagandists have succeeded in convincing a once secular nation that its real power is its moral certainty.  Without jobs, money and ease of living this illusion quickly shatters.  

The educated Left in America has grown fat and lazy and so there is no meaningful mechanic to correct this.  I believe (as does Arianna Huffington and several other political commentators) that we are seeing the birth of a third party in America, or at the very least a populist movement that will reinvigorate the Republican Party.  Leaders in America will be unable to secure position without adopting the Christian morality espoused by early propagandists and the Tea Party movement.  Needless to say, that will not endear the nation to the world as a whole. 

If Turkey throws its weight behind a new Islamic Bloc in the middle-east (which they have suggested they will, while supporting the overthrow of Mubarak) then an over-identification with Christianity will enflame an already heated religious conflict.  What’s more, the American retrogression will earn the disdain of the forwardly progressive (sometimes socialist... evil word I know) western nations of Europe and South America.  Your black President won’t earn you any points internationally when he makes abortion illegal and redefines rape according to biblical sources.

So keep this in mind a few months from now.  If you don’t vote, don’t write your congressman when outraged then your opinion is empty and without meaning because it doesn’t even attempt to change things or exercise influence.  The world won’t care about how socially conscious you are when you do nothing to stop the resurrection of a colonial theocracy and really why should they?  Most likely America will lose its fluid and pervasive identity, Obama’s healthcare plan will become a rallying point for and against progressive change and the States will shatter like glass.  Already the Supreme Courts of several States are seeking to overturn that Federal mandate and it is my belief that they will succeed because it is the will of the people.

Enjoy the Tea Party and don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Circus Burlesque, pt. I

or An Attempt to Idenitfy Saturn in her Decans

Saturn in her decans? I hear you saying. Her decans. We know that there was hidden formula in the goetic and grimoire texts. We know because there is holes in the information they have left. This does not in any sense come as a surprise to the critical thinker, those mysterious karcists who penned these works were mysterious out of necessity. One of the most infamous periods of activity of the necromancers of European sorcery were the Poisoners of the Court of the Sun King.

It is often suggested that the alchemical texts from the renaissance and later periods were also encrypted with false or misleading information so that the true student would have to truly grasp the work to perceive the hidden (occult) meanings of the texts. It is possible that a similar motivation underlay the motivations of the authors of the grimoires but it feels unlikely that is the whole of it in a deeply intuitive sense.

While the scholars quibble over the correct structure of Abra-melins acrostic squares and the spelling of phonetic mantra's one can't help but despair. Worthy tasks for certain but the alchemists weren't making spelling errors to throw you off your game, these were smart men being crafty. Great and elaborate cyphers became necessary to decode the alchemical texts. One was compelled to actually participate in the Great Work to truly decipher the hidden secrets of the alchemists. I have come, over many years of active experimentation with the grimoires to regard them in a similar light. Though the object of these works differ from those of the alchemical magics and the motivations of their protagonists are often strikingly mercenary, they were also written by smart men being clever.

Two great and hideous weaknesses became apparent over those years. An almost complete inability to access the daemons of the feminine currents of western necromancy (which is a curious thing since they are right there in the history of it but not the handbooks of those who engaged said history,) and another almost completely synchronous absence of formula by which one might engage the daemons of astrology's grand malefic saturn (which is also curious since the texts of the grimoire traditions are heavily influenced by the astrological models). These are, if I don't say so myself, pretty marked and notable absences. To the astrologers of the same era, saturn is the grand malefic and the source of the dark and material magics as well as the much observed marker for trouble and illness. Whats more, the feminine current in the European traditions has always been notoriously potent and its daemon are well recorded in the histories and folklore. Pretty strange that the mercenary necromancers of this same era almost completely neglected this in the majority of what remains of their texts.

Interestingly, upon further investigations it is made apparent that it is to saturn that the darkly sexual current of the primal feminine is associated in much of the mystical literature of the era. "Gregorius held that the negatively polarized manifestations of Saturnian and Lunar forces were, on Earth, incarnated in the forms of women, who are the vicars of the Luciferian Principle. The sometimes ambivalent attitude toward this principle leads to an ambivalent stance toward women as a phenomenon. It is even stated at one point that the esotericist should seek to free himself of the feminine daimonium by means of sexual magic. In contrast, men are esoterically the manifestation of the Solar and Jupiterian forces. For sex-magical work, of course, women are seen to correspond to the planet Venus, and men to the planet Mars." (Fire and Ice, Edred Thorsson.) We see this perspective not just in the adepts of the Fraternus Saturni but in many of the sorcerous models of the gnostic greeks, hebrew, egyptian and assyrian/babylonian. Our study is then simplified as we come to realize that the resolution of the absences in the grimoires is really in actuality a singular event.

Much of the earliest of the eastern european necromantic texts (such as the CLM 849) were in fact clerical adaptations of indigenous witchcraft which has always embraced this current for obvious reasons. This relationship is nonetheless reinforced in such texts as Solomons Keys wherein the saturnalian decans are given primarily to venus and the moon which as has already been established are notable feminine aspects of the current. As well, in the cases of the more definitively astrological models like Francis Barrets 'The Magus' saturn is treated among the rest of the planetary signatures as it is in most of the grimoires. Providing one with at least a circuitous route to their object. It is conceivable that it was this information that the crusades of the Inquisition sought to erase, this is hinted at in a very direct manner in the journals of John Dee regarding his work with Kelley. Dee and Kelley like any contemporary practitioner to this day making use of the grimoires, began with the daemons of venus. In their case the spirit Madimi but she led them ultimately to Lilith or at least a very dark feminine manifestation. It gets better, since in classical european witchcraft it is these very figures which serve to initiate one into the magical disciplines.

Tantalizing, no?